Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Land Shark Review

 Note: I spell like this movie, w/o l;ogic

Land Shark

This is my review on Land Shark from the distant future year (to Chris Latta) of 2017 (The year of the Malcontent Upsisings in Robotech)

Its directed by Mark Polonia who did a lot of cr-ppy direct to video movies I'd love to see

It stars no one I've seen in anything and is a cr-ppy little direct to video shark movie that I never saw b4 and gets bad reviews, but I'd probably love as I like silly cr-p like this

Its not even on back door candsy a55 beta male soy boy wiener cleaner gender offender hippie vegan peta stoner tree kung fu based on lants aids bag soviet wikipedia

So after some 80s style logos we get an amusement park and town by the sea were this bikini chick goes by seagulls and has an arm tattoo

eventually she, wait, this is daylight and tinted to look night but not much

so she goes in the sea ands drops a bottle but sees something and goes backl and lays on the sand as this shark fin goes across the land andwe see the monsters p o v

eentually it drops goo on her and rips her up offscreen andgoes back to the sea

then title and credits like done in a cheap editing program

then its actual night and this sea captain but not like the simpsons and his crew member pull up a net and find its gone and the fish are gone from days ago

we see the monsters p o v and it gets the captain then his member comes out and fires at it with a gun but is eated

then its the malco research faculity, like malcontent?, off the coast of the soviet republic of california, and people in full bio suits and putting goo in things are workimg on something

a blonde sees a shark and notices something is wrong and callsthis dr foster like in Ninja Gaiden and tells him the shark numbers decrease in multiples of 2

he comes down and sez its a glitch as charks cant come and go from there and this work can benifit mankind, but he sez huan kid like a beta male or frenchie

foster calls a hag whos kinda b--xhy and was his ex i think ans sez  how da sharks left the tank and returned but she gets b--chy over not being told

He sez they crawled outta the tank and retured and can stand 20 mins out of water and it might be a new super predator, but hag sez its her funding that made it. After hangng up he sez its his hard work and he injects himself wirh goo

later blondelooks at sharks and counts em but she looks like a bimbo but with tied hair and glasses to fake being a nerd

he calls foster and sez she counted and found 1 is missing and he se he has it in his lab and its right there moving its fin in a tank

at this concrete floor ad hard hat worker place a guy works a dial and checks his phone and eventually a shark gets him

blone trys calling and the phone f's out and the shark thing goes through the sea and on land and this bimbo and her butt buddy are out in the wasteland for a photoshoot and she poses qwhile whining that guys online wanna see her bod like guys finding you hot is bad

after it she looks through the photoes and butt buddy wonders what this other guy does with photoes he takes of her and thinks hes j=rkin off

he goes to the van and the shark thing gets him and eventually bimbo comes by and gets to the car and the shark gets her and goes off somehow across land and back to da sea

blonde wants to find the maintence man to fix the phone and foster goes with her anbd they find the hard hat guy iced and foster puts a net over him and wont let her call the cops and wants her to clean it up or he'd black male her with dirt on her past and she consents

hag tells her to keep quiet on video phone and sez if she goes against em they'd ice her

foster sez he adapted sharks to function on land and use em for weapons and defence as living  weapons like cobra la in g i joe or jurassic world

she realizes thats why theres changes in the shark population in the tank and goes with it and goes back to looking at sharks and looking at a clip board

foster is having dreams of a cr-ppy monster like outta tattooed teenage alien fighters from beverly hills or maybe brats of the lost nebula andafter looking at the mirror and having flashes, akes up as its a dream in a dream

blonde seez theres three sharks out and fostercomes inand learns she cpuldnt sleep and he shos herhis serum and how he needs new test subjects

then he zaps the sharks and i think it ices em and she sez the missing ones will come back i mean not come back somehow knowing it

hag learns they iced the sharkls and blonde ares for em and sez they were planning to move soon but they need to waste the remaining aharks which have trappers i mean trackers

blonde laves and hag, whos a cr-ppy actor but it makes the movie more fun, sez he knows wat to do when they catch em

later foster gets a bag of erum and blonde takes a shower but we dont see her nips and  this thing is in her place and when she looks out of the shower theres nothing there and the thing is utside

in this pool at night this lusty couple is wearing sunglasses at night like cory hart or timmy wiseau and i mean tommy wiseau andthe shark thing gets the guy taking a selfie and then his chick

then its day on a boat and chik dont like being with foster on a boat and they go by the beach and amusment par from b4 and shes got thicc hips

she takes a tracker and goes to the beach and foster calls i think hag and she wanders around the areauntil shes under a pier andthen is driven in a car by foster following the signal

at this beach the shark fin is thee and she finds it in the mainland and this bum drinking from a paper bag and wearing jeans and a leather coat is walking around

blonde and foster come out but not like back door buce or manly brad and have some kinda flesh gordon blasters and look for it

bum fals over and saw something and when they come by the bum sez he saw the land shark and they dont buy it and he laughs

they go in this tunnel that people probably b0ne things in as its soviet california and foster wants to wait for it to return to the sea, but she sez the tunnels have water at times and it might be a while so the 2 othes miht do cr-p so they go in

on the other end of the tunnle the shark is behind em and on top of the tunnel and is cr-ppy ps1 cg but it a puppet in close ups

they hide and she takes off her coat to show a tank top and she zaps his foot to make him come out and when the shar sees it, they laser blast it dead wih blood holes

they burn the shark somehow and go back to the car and she sez da shark hates him more than her over a territory thing of riva sharks

they can't do anymore now despute it being daylight and they stop at a motel and on the news the bum sez he saw the land shark and 2 guys were dino might fishing and caught a shark they shot and the cops fined em for gun and aspolosidves permits as soviet california has no freedom

in the hotel toilet the foster injects the serum and has flashes of this power rangers thing and at night this chi in yellow and a skirt missed the train and the shark got her looking like a cr-ppy ray harryhausen puppret

he next day foster didnt sleep well and she notices he had a cut on his hand and asks why e got into science

he sez he loved the vast mysterious ocean and then saw jaws and she sez he's raeping nature and profiting off war andusing science for evil, but he sez so do un and car makers

she whines about evolutio, which is fake, and how sarks happened over millions of years and hes twisting em

actually, sharks aren't as violent as movies make em seen, but dolphins are like gacy meets dahmer with icing small animals for fun and b0ning people

she sez da little mermaid was her fave movie as a kid and now likes the ocean, but what about all the undersea daenons and ningen and yokai and cr-p?

so they rive on and we see the shark go by with a puppet and they go out on a dry grasslands like africa and hills like in power rangers

da bum is following em or in da area and when he asks a guy for money is told f u, but hes like, f me? f u!! and later p-sses but its on the shark who bites off hids parts then eats his gut open and hamberger meat guts come out bere he eats off his thighs like chicken

good cheesy low buget gre and humor

so blonde and the foster come by a house in the area and go in and its a mess and theres a hand on the floor like splatterhouse 2 and maybe three or 1

da shark comes by da home and eventually they wander around outsude and go to da woods but the scanner sez its by em and it tackles he in da womb area and bites his leg but leaves em and they try to go back to a house

da shark is behind e and they run as it somehow moves on land and they get in the house and beat it away and close da door

he wraps gause on her abs and ther no bruise and his legs not dat ba bit but theres black ooze in it and she dresses it

they go out and da shark is on da house somehow and jumps dow and the aim theur guns at it for a bit b4 firing but it books it

they chase it and the hunter is the huned and they dispure where it went and she sees the fin and they fire but its only a pile of rocks

theysee it get to the ater and fire at the river but it does jack sh-t and jack is j=rkin off on the floor

wait they capped it an it comes up butisnt dead ad attacks but dont get close t em so she fires at power lines andit aps the area and it asplodes in a fireball for some reason

So they got 1 left and foster wants to continue the experiment and they stop by a house and she goes to it and he wanders off

her detectot beeps and she wanders around looking for him andfinds him a bigt f;d, thinking its from the shark bite infection

foster sez the other shark was caught at a resort and knocks down her detector and reveals he experimented on himself with shark dna and devolved himself as a shark cant hold a weapon or drive a vehicle and he didnt tell anyone

then he spazzes out and devolves into a shark furry but not like the street sharks nd comes at her but not with his j-zz

her gun dont work and she runs and he chases her and i guess we forggot about his leg bite and he spastically goes around until he catches her and she grab his head and gets in his gills or w/e, which is a big weak point, and he bites it

so much for the utimate killing machine, stopped by some blonde j=rkin off his neck like hes turning into a d0ng

so he turns back to human mode andsez there were other exepirments and she shakes him with her thicc buns sticking out and has good acting and he bites it

then we see the beach and a shark fin the size of the pier its next to pops up and i'd assume that the water is ultra deep as the rest of the shark would be pretty huge

the end

that was pretty cheap and cr-ppy

i liked it

made for little, some stuff was fun, clearly not meant to be srs

its openly bad so its not trying to be Ben Hur or Gown With The Wind or The Ten Commandments

A silly cheesy shark movie

the acting was bad but it works for it, like shenmue or house of the dead in arcades

the music is that cr-ppy public domain things used by the bad power rangers when disney took over(and outcheaped saban)

the effects are kinda home made but i like em, it has charm

its the kinda movie you watch with ur drinking buddies and have a good laugh

I watched it on Youtube so it might have cut the nips or a55cracks but other than that, it was pretty solid

Plus the blonde hero chick showed some good acting at the end and the bum was pretty tongue in cheek

glad I saw this one, its silly and makes no sense, but its not trying to

And the shark effects were cheesy and fun

For Land Sahrk 2 I want the giga shark to have been revealed to be a land shark and be busting up soviet california like a kaiju. Then the blonde is told by an angel that theres a secret cave with ancient tech from before Noah's Flood and in it she finds a battle mech suit. She gets in it and fights the shark in an epic battle that busts up soviet california and all these junkies and cannibals see their chance and start going nuts thinking they got nothing to lose and start eating and b0ning people alive as california devolves into chaos. So after beating the shark, she sees claifornia is just as bad as the shark and starts wasting em. Also its a 128 bit game like that Godzilla one but on GameCube, Dreamcast, xbox and ps2 where you play as the chick in a mech armor or the shark or a buncha monsters made up for the game and fight through the claifornia and have mini games of wasting the malcontents in there.

Friday, April 12, 2024

Stranger On The Run Review

 Note: I sopell Stranger than you

Stranger on the Run

This Is My Review On Stranger On The Run from the distant future year of 200 -33 or 1967 in 20th centure cr-p (40 years before Transformers Season 4 in America)

Its directed by Don Siegel who did Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1/The Beguiled 1

it stars henry fonda from the 39 Jesse James/The Grapes of Wrath/The Ox-Bow Incident/Fort Apache/12 Angry Men 1/The Tin Star/the 1959 Warlock/How the West Was Won/Firecreek/Once Upon a Time in the West/The Swarm, Anne Baxter from Five Graves to Cairo/The North Star/Angel on My Shoulder/The Ten Commandments/the 60s Batman, Michael Parks from The Bible: In the Beginning.../From Dusk till Dawn 1/Kill Bill: Volume 1/Kill Bill: Volume 2, Dan Duryea from Scarlet Street, Sal Mineo from Rebel Without a Cause/Giant/Exodus/The Greatest Story Ever Told/Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Lloyd Bochner from The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear/the 60s The Twilight Zone/The Golden Girls/Batman: The Animated Series/The New Batman Adventures, Michael Burns from the 60s The Twilight Zone, Tom Reese from The Greatest Story Ever Told/the 60s The Twilight Zone, Bernie Hamilton from The Jackie Robinson Story/Scream Blacula Scream, Walter Burke from Dark City/How the West Was Won/Support Your Local Sheriff!/the 60s The Twilight Zone/the 60s Batman, Rodolfo Acosta from Hondo/One-Eyed Jacks/How the West Was Won/The Greatest Story Ever Told/Young Billy Young, George Dunn from the 50s Daddy Long Legs/Joe Dakota/Inherit the Wind/The Beguiled/The Andy Griffith Show/My Favorite Martian/The Beverly Hillbillies, Pepe Hern from The Rifleman, and a few guys i never saw in anything.

Its a tv movie I never saw and people said was pretty good

after logoes and cretids and title to a soft song and proper fullscreen ad 60s color this ttain comes in to town and a guy is chucked out of it

also this is like 97 mins but 2 and a half hours on grit with a lot of adds

after he soaks his head in a htough he talks with a black guy about finding whskey  and crals under a train to see them  unloading it

he's told if he works for it at 20 cents an hour he can have some and starts unloading it and carrying it to the bar or w/e

he sees the deputee and hears there was a bonfire a while agot and its a  railroad town

so the town people talk in a place and hear of wild bill hickok and it reminds me of the meeting of the generals in Skies Of Arcadia Legends

1 eggs on another asking how to spell girl fighter? 1 word or 2 and a gun is pulled on him which seals his a55 of a mouth

so some guy in a bowler hat comes by and sez they iced people not birds and asks the age of 1 guy and offers to have 1 of this scuzzy guys men let go and to get the job done

scuzzy comes out and talks with bowler but hes got an accent and is hard to understand and bowler dnt understand him either

so scuzzo sez 1 guy is wanted for icing guys and bowler sez he will deny all nowing that such men were wearing a company badge

so main guy gets some booze and drinks it and hears the next train is 8 am and hes taking the work and he asks about a chick alma britton whos left days ago and the guys make a deal of it

he inquires more and is told to take the train elsewhere and then we cut to gunmen shooting bottles

a blonde chick comes in and wants soda water but soda is better but we call it pop and  and in the bar meets main guy and seems uneasy with him

the boss comes by and sez man guy is helping for the dad and chick dont like him so that means they will fall in love and b0ne and have 400 babies to repopulate the planet after the nucular apocalypse

so the towns guys who are probably the bad guys are testing their might in accuracy and the guy asked his age dont wanna unless he has to ice somone and girl gfighter guy sez a man in ton asks about alma

so the town leaders interrogate main guy and he runs but is caught and won talkbut scuzzo saves him from the pig like guy

pig man tries to fire on him but scuzzo sherrifs droog pulls a fire arm and sez "do and ur dog meat" and saves him

later scuzzo i think visits a dark haired girl in bed whos probably got aids or w/e they spread in the 1800s and asks if she knows who was it and she dont wanna tell him as its company law in a company town

she wants revenge on some guy for beating her andhas bruises on her and is kind of a sourpuss

elsewhere blonde wants to help this blonde guy with some train thing and hes 17 and wants to get him tain work but he likes being a paid gunfighter for a railroad

pretty sure hes gonna go to h e double soviet california

so blonde guy sez he sed she'd go to dinner with a guy and she is gonna do it and i think he's her son

later its nnight and boss tells main guy the chick got beat by a special agent as he got aids but hes not an agent like hes got soul but hes not a soldier

scuzzo talks with age guy and is told its best to gtfo and the guys need something to get their minds off the place and its suggested a dance and age guy tlaks of a hunting pack how they took em out running when not used for a while

scuzzo tells of his life how at 15 he went off and wound uo on th chain gang and used to have a big house in denver as a kid

main guy goes by this shack and its got alma britton or w/e her name is and he sez hes a friend of her brothers and i think he finds her iced and he books it

also its clearly daytime but tinted to fake being not but clearly is

wow we're like an hour in, that felt like nothing but holds my attention

so the bad guys are riding around and its openly daylight and they come across main guy and he sez she was dead when he got there and he was sent by her brother  to help her escape from the train area

pig mna wants to string him up and drag hang him as theres no tree in the wasteland like in violence jack

scuzzo sez he can try to escape to chi wa wa and the guys liked alma and he'd not make it to a court of law and he gets a horses a55 and runs

pigman sez hes giving him a head start and they'll get him later and main guy winds up in some area and finds a pot boilig on a fire and burns himself on it

the campfire owners are there and 1 is the black guy, maybe from b4 as he recognizes him and he tells him the railroaders iced a guys brother a few months ago

blackula sez to say if he's asked what he is, to say hes a man and to prove it and when main guy sez his dad come and gone blacula sez that means he's still ot a shot

also blonxe guy is with the bads and age guy is talking with him and they see main guy riding a horse and chase him and open fire

its like a car chase in the 1800s befroe they made cars

so they chase him to a place with rocky hill and the homies he met with the coffee pot aid him and sniper like with j fk and harambe what else to i have to say?

age guy gives blonde advice on how to use a fire arm and is given one and the gunfight goes on for a while and the mexico sez he gets to ice gr-ngoes and get paid but then gets capped like he;s vasquez who was mistaken for a man but really its you

1 gu runs up and takes out a guy standing in the open firing then the black guy got it cuz hes black and they dont make it, then agan, usually everyone gets it so its ok

wait he only got it through the shoulder and in the meat and main guy helps his blicketee black homie droog guv nuh

so main guy and blacula go on in closet daylight but tnted and blaclua compliments him o doing well under stress and fire

so they go their own ways and main guy goes to steal a horse as his got a f'd leg andblonde chick gets him at gunpoint andrecognizes him

he sez he left her his horse and wants to trade like pokemon or yugioh crds andshe sez she thinks hes gonna jack one but not like in freddy got fingered

her cow is fd and he sez its going to the shadow realm and she got the gun for it but he sez the cow is pooping ou a twisted calf and to get soap ater and lube like caster oil

she was using booze on the cow which might f up its calf and out in the battlefeld the age guy wants to get this scarred faced mexicany looking teen help but they say to stay with him here

imagine if the chic wasnt really dead and this went ox bow incident?

so then its day tme and the calf was pooped out and dried off rom all the womb goo and she sez sorry for saing hes braver vs women and they get along and talk of her blonde son

she makes an unkosher breakfast of ham and he wants to go but she sez she can see guys 10 miles away from the hill and her husband was 59 when he married her at 16 like a hollywood guy but te girl is like 2x the usual age and they got along and he bit it a decade ago

so he eats an unkosher breakfast and get along and talk of the lifes and as hes gonna leave the blonde son comes over and gets main guy at gunpoint saying he iced alma britton

she dont buy it as he saved her cow but often murderers like animals and wehn son asks why main guys wearing dads clothes, blone smacks him andtells him off

main guy advances on him and takes the guy as son sez he's cap him and main gu sez hes a boy and then in comes someone but it cut to commercial and i didnt see who it was

age guy or pig guy brings blonde to hepscarface and its age guy and they send scarface off on a bumpy cart and age guy has main guy caught and they'd wait for scuzzo whos named mckay like the little nemo guy

after talking and main guy is told mckay is the guys friend, the guy cuts main guy free and sez theres a train or w/e heading off in the am

whenthe pack gets backscuzzmo mckay wants to avenge ama but age guy sez he dont wanna murder him as he might not have iced alma britton and mckay sez when dogs are around too long they lay in the sun until a guy puts it down and to wear his glasses but age guy se they dont hep much, so mckay sezwhat good are you anyway?

so at blondes place blonde and son look after scarface and a guy comes by and sez main guy is anted for icing alma britton and wait its not blondes place

mom wants better for son but he sez this is is way and this is who he am andshe asks him not to go but he thinks shes asking for main guy and sezhe likes mckay

main guys horse booked it and some guys see him and are mexicoesand call the deputy andwait i think they're gong for da horse

its clearly daytime but tinted to look night andmain guy escapes to town and hides in the room with blonde but leaves maybe w/o seeing her

main guy is in the building and fires on a guy but blonde jr stops the outside guy and sez for ma to get out but she sez she wont go and main guy has a gun

she b==ches about mcay being jrs hero and tells main guy she called a marshall but mckay would be there 1st and he sez he loved a woman once and she tends to scarface

main guy puts a chair on the back door and not his anus and later its real daylight and a guy is comming

mainguy sez he wanted to be a vet but this guy was hanging around and he knew he was up to no good but didnt stop him and pun put 2 in the window and got his woman in the throat and cuz he was afraid of confronting him he blamed himself

so outside a guy is fired on and runs for cover and the bads start coming in and main guy caps him and they got 20 mins left before the marshall comes or w/e

scarface gets outta bed andlooks out the window and gets it and falls out the window andits girl fighter who iced him and he and pig guy wwaste each other

a guy asks pig guy who iced alma's way britton and he straindly sez some cr-p i cant make out

so sherif mckay scuzzo beats out the blonde jr and age guy with a flaming black log and is gonna torch the place i think

mckay faces vs main guy andmain guy has no gun ao its a fist fight and mckay beats him down and he gets u and they stare off for a while  and mckay walks off and lets him go

then happy musc and blonde jr takes off his mckay badge and a train comes in and a song plays

the last bunha mins had no talking and blonde rides off on a cart and main guy comes after her

the end

that was pretty good

nice classc style and good 60s style

nice acting and good pacing with nice flow and dint drag

it goes by at a good rate and dont feel like 150 mins with adds

nice music and the acting is good and theres a good story and heart to it

this was in the 60s and it holds up well

huh, it aired on Halloween

Overall its a solid film and is a bit butch cassidy and the sundance kid and has a bit of that movie with tony curtis and sidney poitier escaping together

i liked it and its a nice mld film whrre not much happens but it holds your attention

For On Stranger On The Run 2 I want him to be living with the blonde and they plan on gettin married and its him growing loser to the blonde jr son and they gotta fight off this werewulf that has been attacking the cattle. Also its a 128 bit farming game like harvest moon and on Dreamcast, GameCube, ps2 and xbox where you play as the main guy in thr 1st one and have a thrid person shooter level like Shadow The Hedgehog where you fight the werewulf.

Friday, April 5, 2024

Two For Texas Review

 Note: I spell texas style, manly and bada55 and American!

Two For Texas

This is my review on Two For Texas frm the distant future year of 1998 (The year of the global war in Robotech)

its directed by Rod Hardy who did eps of JAG and nothing i saw

it stars kris kristofferson from the remake of Stagecoach/Dolphin Tale/the blade movies/Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story/the 00s Planet of the Apes/The Land Before Time VI: The Secret of Saurus Rock/Payback/Big Top Pee-wee, Scott Bairstow from the 00s The Twilight Zone/Party of Five/Touched by an Angel, Irene Bedard from Squanto: A Warrior's Tale/disneys Pocahontas/The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest/Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles/House of Mouse/The Spectacular Spider-Man. Tom Skerritt from M*A*S*H the movieHarold and Maude/Alien/The Dead Zone/Top Gun/Poltergeist III/Steel Magnolias/My Favorite Martian/The West Wing/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/The Good Wife, occult commie Peter Coyote from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial/Sphere/Patch Adams/Erin Brockovich/Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Law & Order: Los Angeles/Blue Bloods, Rodney A. Grant from Dances with Wolves/Geronimo: An American Legend/Wild, Wild West/Ghosts of Mars, Marco Rodríguez from Cobra/Frasier/The Crow/High School High/Seinfeld/JAG/Bully/Desperate Housewives, Julio Cesar Cedillo from Wishbone, not Fangbone, Rodger Boyce fron No Country for Old Men, and countless guys who aint on back door, cany a55, beta male, soy boy, aids bag, cripple nipple, soft parts, tinky winky, sodom bottom, don glover uso suki, frooty booty, gender offender, girly man, banana crammer wikipedia.

Its based on a book of the same name by James Lee Burke that I never read

in 1836 in louisianna we get credits with people chained as probably slavrs and heavy music with fllscreen and 90s color like that goosebumps ep with the kids in the bayou and the monster

this africanized man whips an Americanas blacks owned slaves too(and many still do)

in the swamp a snake wizzes a a gut and bites him and 1 guy sez to use chewin tobacco cuz it can suck the poison ot(get the mythbusters)

the ownersunchain the bit guy and leae him to de and 1 objects and is beat out for it and woke up in a cage abobe the swamp

then a recap of the guys life how he left tennessee and came to texas hoping to make it but santa anna took over and attacked bt The Honorable Sam Huston countered with Jim Bowie

then in the presentthey dump his cage in the water and he rises for a long breath after 4 seconds under water

after being taken back to the camp, kris advises him to not raise a fuss but kriss sez this isn't a normal place

they get sent out to get a stuck wagon out but when a swinging hing hts the slave driver he caps a guy and kriss takes him on and gets him chained with a block tackle

i think he iced him and the bullet missed his vitals and the three guys escape with kriss and main guy going together

this devolved loking frenchiewants em back and theygo off to join the texas army to get the aches of land they were promised

kris mac daddy r daddy mac was revealed he jacked hoses from andrew jacksons army as the soldiers were j=rkin off and they stop to get the bullet out

so in mexican occupied texas these guys go by some indians and wait its the heroes and they see a girl enslaved by em whos probably gonna be the love interest as EVERYthing tacks on rman ce

kris wants to trade horses but they see its army horsesand the leader of the indans has a smoke with kris but not main guy and then comes back saying he sold em so he could stay with em as going around texas in stolen horses is a bad idea

the slave girl was sold to the tribe for 2 horses as the red man were also big on slave owning, as pretty much all nations were, and shes stays with them now as the other men might wanna b0ne her

main guy dont like indians as his home was burned down by the res and his fam was iced by em with theyr heads cut and guts out

also the slave added dog meat as i guess this is pro korea

so at night kirs tries b0ning the slave girl but she fights hi off and he looks kinda like charles bronson

main guy cuts loose the rope on the slaves leg as she sez "those men who stole me" and tells her "i aint like them" like one of those gitls in a nyu yorke tunnel

so the next day they find the tribe has other idniasn steal for em and something about mexicans and thsi 1 who looks 5'2 wants to kow where they got the horses and when main guy mouths off kriss beats on hi m a dn sez hes a mon g0loid redneck and main guy goes with it

so it turns out its the mexicos that let thr tribe steal and keep what they want in exchainge for the horses and the mexicos go off with the horses

the frenchie owner meets with the meixocs an trive leader wants to get back at the mexicos for taking the horses they took from ohers

slave girl wants to go with em and shows em a gun she hid an gunpowder and the tribe wants to have it and the Americans can fight with knives instead of American Guns

so the indians do their sneaking aorund and shanking emfrom behind like a ninja instead of an honorable samurai and the Americans catch the mexico guards at gunpoint when 1 is p-ssing and tie em up instead of sending em to h e double soviet california

the indians wann ice em but the Americans stand their ground and the reds back off as they had knifes to this gunfight

the frenchies and mexicoeans attack and the horses scatter and kirs sez "dat fenchie aint got no quit in him" which is odd as the fench usually surrender like the cheese eating monkeys they are

the heroes escape  with a buncha horses and as they cross a river main guy's horse falls then runs but hes off and is dragged  but chick cuts the rope and wait its kris an he didnt know how to swim as he stands up after she saves him and the the river isnt even up to his waist

so as they go on the slave girl asks what the indians did that made him hate em andhe sez drunk shawnee iced his fam in tennessee and they have a light laugh at jokes of kris being beat with a stick after he triend b0ning her

she gets along well with him after that. what is this? Japan?

so kris goes off to buy cr-p and sh treats main guys wound saying she learned english after being taken by Americans and she was sold to other guys which surprizes him to find Americans did it and they grow closer

later kris comes back and tells his story of hanging with a gang who iced people like stepping on frogs, an i assume its frenchies and not the amphibian

then its day and some deolved looking guys claim to be hunting a deer and ask if they seen it and when told no, ask for food and get some coffee

these uys look like the inbred guys from deliverance so they are clearly evil

so later the trio is riding and the inbred guys come by looking like ghouls and the heroes cap em but the survuving one talks after kris is gonna scalp him

he reveals the frenchie put a bounty on em like one piece with less okama and when he sez he got this ear or w/e from a chick he b0ned the slave girl shanks him to h e double soviet australia

at night with a really bright night and they go to make out, but in the real version they were b0ning, wait, this is the real version

imagien if kirss woke up and was like "oh come on! I try and i get beat but u get to go all in?!"

so the next day kris sez she cant come ith em cuz they cant take her to the army and if the mexicans catch her she'd be b0ned

imagine if main guy said "is this cuz we b0ned?!" and kris sez"you b0ned?!"

kriss offers to tell her as "she'd take it better from me" which makes me ewann aedit the clip of him b0ning her after tha, but he tells her snd thinks hes like all other Americans and wants to come back after he gets the land but she dont buy it

later the duo is going on and the frenchie chases em and they escape to an Ameircan base and say "don't shoot We're Americans! Those guys are santa anna gun runners" and the frenchie escapes with his men

they meet general Sam Houston and tell them they escaped from prison and got a 200$ bounty on em and main guy sez he was wrongfully accused of stealing a womans puse and got a decade for it and kris iced a dink in a card game

jim bowie knows kris from b4 and are homies and after explaining they need land and a place to lay low with the bounty they join up

an night they tell stories and laugh and bowie is all f;d and he's got his big a55 knife like violence jack that he lets main guy see, whos name is son holland like son wukong or son goku, then bowie throws it like Joe Musashi in Shinobi and cuts a rope with it

later its day and jim said they needed to stop santa anna or he'd take over all of Texas and tthey needed to give Houston time to gather his troops

wow its 1 44 in with adds, that felt like nothing. also its a 2 hour movie on TNT but 2 and a half hours on Grit by adding an extra half hour of adds

so frenchie meets santa anna who he's been giving weapons to and is on a ranch he stole but sez liberated from a Texas guy, and santa anna sees really frooty

after training they hear that The Alamo is under seige and while they wanna save em but if they do, they'd lost the war and santa anna would take over Texas

Bowie was at the alamo and the heroes ran out to save em as if an army cant stop em, 2 guys in that army can

i mean if its the Contra guys yeah but thats the 2600s

so at whats left of the Alamo  its  a massacre and the sad part of the movie and son holland wukong attacks mexicans for picking the corpses but kris sez they are not soldiers but guys who do santa annas dirtywork

they come across a White Woman whos mad General Huston dint come sooner and shes got a kid and her husband got a hedshot like jfk to jfk 2 harambe aka jfk reloaded

she goes on about the horrors she sa of the Amerians chopped up and iced by raging mexicans like being at the boarder during biden

santa anna spared her to give Huston a letter and she showed em Bowie in the infirmary where hees dead and kirs is p-ssed for then wasting his friend

huh, like Houston, Bowie was a Catholic and slave owner

so they retun to the main forces and find the army is running and leading santa anna off, but kris and son holland pan and a thried guy stop to spy on santa anna as he's waiting around cuz hes b0ning a girl, or as kris keeps saying, p0king, and frenchie is there and kris sez now they can kill him and its not murder

So santa anna offers amnesty for Texans who surrender but that's not very American or Texan of them and its like asking a Japanese to be impolite or an irish to act like a highly evolved human being

Huston gives a speech and tells em Remember The Alamo like in Pee Wees Big Adventure not Big Top Pee Wee with Kriss Krisstofferson

I though Bowie fought a Sasquatch but got him mixed up with Davy Crockett

so the Americans attack now that santa anna's troops are low ki from all the chasing and not expecting an attack and they figre cannons that blow the ground and send guys flying like Power Rangers

so main guy rigs the bridge to blow and kris is gonna monkey knife fight frenchie like its the patriot with mel gibson, more like a cheese eating surrender monkey knife fight, as frenchie thinks kris iced his brother, but kris backs away and son hollend goten lights the bridge and it blows and i think sent the frenchie back to h-ll with his kind came from

so after the battle of 18 bins, they lost 9 men and 18 as wounded but took down hundreds of mexcoes and caught more, santa anna got away but some deer hunters, not the christopher walken movie, found him in a cave liek saddam and Huston accepts his surrender

son hollen goku jr gets his 600 achers and kris give him bowies knife and and goes off to pan for gold as big as elk teeth or elf teeth in D&D

he goes off to some indian village an gets back his woman as he somehow knew where to go to find her

the end

that was pretty good

nice action and story. good writing, memerable characters, good ties to history

the music was well and the filming was pretty good wth a nice PG style

the acting was good and the effects worked and it wasn't a mess of cg like modern things

iit did the thing of the younger guy guided by the experienced master and overcoming his anger

and i like how the french and spaniards were the bad guys, like in real life

it doesnt drag and has good flow and goes by at a good pace while holding my attention and not having me hoping for it to end soon

I liked this one and its got some good Pro America Protoculture in it

For Two For Texas 2, which would probably be called 2 For Texas like wth Coming 2 America, I want them to be on the farm with their teen daughter and this Eastern Europeany guy comes by and needs help. Turns out he's been fleeing a Fext, an undead creature thats immune to bullets except glass ones, and has been travelling the world to keep away from it. So he grows closer to the daughter who helps him as hes worn out and helps him recover his strength. near the end of the movie, the Fext attacks and its an epic battle to try to beat it as they try to use a gun with glass bullets but stuff keeps geting in the way until the final shot. Also its a 128 bit farming simulator like Harvest Mood on sega dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 an xbox where you play as the Slavic guy and work on the farm and try to grow closer to the daughter.

Friday, March 29, 2024

The Gal Who Took the West Review

 Note: I dspell like a Gal or Gyaru

The Gal Who Took the West

This is my review on The Gal Who Took the West from the distasnt future year to D W Griffith of 1949 (50 years before the global civil war ended in Robotech)

Its directed by Fred de Cordova who did Bedtime for Bonzo

It stars Yvonne De Carlo fr9om For Whom the Bell Tolls//The Ten Commandment/McLintock!/Law of the Lawless, Super Elite American Charles Coburn from Made for Each Other/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/Around the World in 80 Days, Scott Brady from The China Syndrome/Gremlins 1, John Russell from Frenchie/Rio Bravo/Apache Uprising, Myrna Dell from  Dragnet/60s Batman/Unsolved Mysteries, James Millican fr0m Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/His Girl Friday, Clem Bevans from Valley of the Giants/They Made Me a Criminal/Sergeant York/Tall in the Saddle/The Yearling, Houseley Stevenson from The Yearling, John Litel from The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse/Valley of the Giants/Santa Fe Trail/The Sundowners/the 50s Scaramouche/The Sons of Katie Elder, Edward Earle from The Wind/I Accuse My Parents/The Ten Commandments, and a bunxha guys not on sxoviet back doo candy a55 aids bag sodom bottom girly man soy boy necro pedo cripple nipple banana crammer wikipedia

I neer saw ths but its on grit who usually has good things

After credits and title in fullscreen and good color with 1 guy vcalled Jack Danienls, we get an O Hara memorial Museum and a reporter is given a look at the records fo the o hara fam

he wants to learn the real story form the geezers and goes to the bar and on the way there offers dome geezers a chance to talk for him buying drinks and soem go there to talk

they talkfor booze an 1 tells hwo he knew the o haras like he knew his underwear for 30 years but they founded arizona andthsi girl di things to deal deal witht eh fueding guys

so its the distant fuiture year of 1890 and this chick came by and blacked out and a gy caught her and brings her into a salloon and the guys back away

this guyin a black hat sez to white hat who has the guirl to not come in his side of town and to leave her in 1 room upstairs as shses an opera singer for the place and gtfo

so they bring her to the room and she starts comming to an dthis blonde offers her booze but is told to put it on er temples and blonde dont wanna follow white hat but is owned by black hat

white hat leaves and sez he'd be back to get her at 5 and is told not to and some guys book it

white hat is uneasy after coming in and leaving alive and his minion dont wanna go back

White hat goes inthe barber and a guy being shaves backs off as he dont wanna f ith him and he gets a haircut and new suit andpeople obey him as i guess hee'd b0ne em dead

later white hat goes to the bar and theres a swarrm of toughts but eh has em stay bakc and goes in alone, finds black hat is out and sez to tell him he took the girl

the people talk on if the o haras would death battle while the general was still alive and i think theirs their grandpa andthey talk on if they was on the rigth side

so hite hat named lee like robert e lee the amercian hero gets the girl and rides through a wasteland owned by the o haras and black hat is named grant o hara after the evil u s grant

chcik has been paid thousands for 1 prformance and they go to a fancy place that lee sez hes making a better one

the geezer telling the story se the chick was an easterer who liked the west and the others say he f'd up and another takes over and sez he was the bartender and hoe really she was hungover and thats why she blacked out

is this rashomon? but years prior?

so in the 5 hours she as in there and lee was outhe had the booze and was faking being out and thinks grant s-cked and is mouthy

she is kinda b=chy at grant who gives her liquor and she slaps him after drinking it and shes lilian marlow like lilian gish and sez his grandpa paid her 10 000 atk points i mean dollars for 1 performance

the chicks have these rings G O H for grant o hara as his mark and to "protect" them fro strangers and offers her one but she declines

is this like the heartplugs in dine? or the brand in yellowstone? or the UD mark in Hokuto No Ken?

so 1 girl sings an irish song and grat likes irish cr-p cuz hes lower evolved and lilian sez its cr-p and its blonde singing

blonde is p-ssed and sez he liked her singing b4 and lilian goes up and sings the song better and irish, as the blonde gets her irish up like an italiano

the song is about clancy getting his irish up anddrinking an fighting which nowadays THEY might whine about racist themes, as THEY think the irish are not White from being oppressed by england

Are Poles White? We got invaded by pretty much everyone

lilian sez her moms side is muldoon and everyone likes her and the grant took her toa dinner with silver made from three mountains of silver they got in the area

so the chick lilian and the grant are in there for three hours and lee is comming and the guys wanna get grant out b4 he comes

so grant wants chick to stay and be his womanbut she wants him to come to her concert and he wants to b0ne her and 1 guy comes in and sez the guy is here for the payroll to get grant out and tells her to fidn an excuse to get grant out or the cousins of ohara will shoot the place oou i mean up

she asks grant why he dont like his cousn and he gets b--chy and dont wnna talk about hima nd she lights his cigar and spills a bucket of ice water on his cortch to keep his b0nar from irishing up her womb and when hes changing she gets to her room and lee comes back and gets her

the thrid man geezer sez he was the ranch foreman and sez shes into money most and after finding out the oharas own the country and its cattle and gold/silver/lead(pokemon lead?) has an intest in the o haras and when finding out lee is comming she fakes fainting and he catches her

after the other parts we saw ere skipped we gte the party with the general who dnt think lilian is the opera singer an might be an imposter whos into lee

then the grant comes in andconftronts lilian all irish and lee efends her and they nearly shot the place up like homies until indians grab them and general sez to grab the guns 1st then get the arms

general sez to behaive themselves and brings chick to his room and looks through a book of famous opera singers with photoes in 1800s photo graph look

bill and ted; waoh dude! 1800s babes!

general wants her to go and thinks shes not what he wanted and dont wanna explain why the cousins hate each other but how he and his brother didnt synchero on the english an his sons didnt synchro on the civil war but no both are gay for her and she likes how 2 handsome guys like her

genrerla dont think the cousins should have her as when he bites it the boys will ice each other and will pay for her to go but she dont wanna leave a man she is gay for and dont know ehich one to go with and this is like an anime or saved by the bell with zack and slater into kelly

so then its dinner and lee and grant sit next to chick and she sez they are secretly fond of each other and they agree thats dumb

also i like how grandpa general sez his sons didnt agree on the cvil war and hsi grandsons are named after the generals of it

subtle but clever

so after the dinner chick and the cousins are there and everyone left and she sez they otta not wear their guns around her and they get their irish up over it and escalate until grandpa comes by and takes chick to her room

general is the only one who can manage em and tried everything and diinherited em and that didnt work as he needs em to run the thing but they dont wanna do it togetehr

general has armed guards ousode her room and tells the cousins he has the teritory under marshal law

so later its day and the guys are discussing on why they gotta hate over their bosses and their wives are sisters and grant is shooting glass bottles and lee comes by and sez hes into lilian

grant sez hes interested in her and they lan to go to some place as general sez he knows they are up to something

so later lilian sez she wants to control things as both guys like her and she can use her woman ness to make em behave but general sez if his sons beta out for her he'd ice em and sez he'd beat her a55 if she p-sses him off cuz hes an irish

later chick is bring dirven in a cart and these horsemen come after em and take out their guards and 1 guy takes hercart and despite her saying the o haras protect her, he brings her to  some place where she sez they'll be iced for kidnapping her

in the place the bartender sez grant wants to see her and grant sed if she was harmed he'd shoot off their ears, so she tears up her clothes and implies she'd fake being b0ned as women often do and when grant comes by he gives him a few hours to get out

grant sez he wants to propose to her and hes gay for her and wants to marry her but lee is bringing a buncha men to get her back and arrives and wants her sent to the ranch butthe winner/surviver gets to have her

lee gets her in the cart and as hes gonan drive he slugs out grants man and has his men to give cover fire and keep the grant and his men down until they get away but grant sez ont fire you might hit the girl

lee stops to prepart an ambush and she b-=ches out about missing her rehearsal an he reveals he loves her an dwants to make out with her but notices her clothes are f'd and thinks grant tried b0ning her

she explains but he dont buy it andlee ges off to face grtant but no ones been iced yet

this is like street fighte the movie ho theres hardly any fighting

so general comes by and calls off the fight and 1 guy who  think is one of the three guys telling the story alearted the general but lee sez to get the f outta town

chick wants to go to her rehearsal and thern they go to this i think opera house to see th show but fights keep breaking out until general shoots the ceiling and sez he spend 50 000 $ to bild the oopera house and 10 000 to bring the singer and if anyone interrupts he'd blow the guys head off

i assume the opera house was made non union as if those parasites got in they'd leach out countless more dollars to feed their communism

so lilan goes up and sings a 40s big band thing like in a fred astaire movie of guys in love with a chick and 1 getting capped an the other going to the slammer

after this totally not 1800s song the general has the people applaude and this is not opera but more showtunes and general goes off with chick an the cousins send their goons home and go for a drink togetehr w/o guns

grant sez to have the cheif indian cause a ruckus and not uncle ruckus from the boondocks and plan something thogetehr

at grenerals place general sez he expected a fat chick for an opera singer cuz i guess hes into fat chicks and hears the cousins are comming togetehr so general sez he'd have anyone who attacked a rtrooper hung for treason

chick wants to handle it herself and general ez to stfu and stay in her room but the indian chief yellowfeather not yellowbeard is on the loose and the troopers are recalled to deal with him

chick wants to hanle the thing an tell the cousins what to do but general sends the ranch hand off for a few years and with all three out of town they dont know how it ends

reporter goes off tosome guy to find what happened and ths helicopter comes down with geezer chick and 2 grandsons who beat on each other cuz they irish

after hearing what the other guys asid, she reveal she was in a tigh corset and blacked out and stopped wearing em

so n the 1800s the boys came by and disarmed andthey wanna decide by drwing cards or a gunfight but she sez she wants to choose, but the cousins say they'd ice the one who gets her

she takes grneral out back and sez she'd choose 1 and the other would get the territory but grandpa general sez he's seen em shoot the legs off a fly at 100 feet

she takes lee in the room and general sez he'd giev grant the terirtory if lee gets the girl

in the roo lee ees grants ring on her finger and gets his irish up and fights his cousin andits an acrobatic fiht that busts up the place

lee beats the black off lee i mean grant andaims a gun at him and sez to marry her or he'd blow him to h e double ireland

grandpa asks where she got the ring snd she sez she granted pocket and later married him and grant was loyal and knew if he cheeted on her then lee would blow his head off and it kept his irish down

then we see the boys fighting and its like cain and abel or esau an jacob or joseph and his brothers and chick wants to buyreporter a drink

the end

that was pretty good

nice, lite, clean, innocent, positive, and only 1 fist fight at the end

good color and music and its a good late 40s film with fun and charm

the acting and filming is good and i like the story with it kinda being Rashomon 0

it goes by pretty quick and dont drag and has good flow and holds attention as you wanna see where it goes and who gets the dame

no one dies or gets shot and its got a brighter atmosphere with an ar of danger but nothing too bad happens

For The Gal Who Took the West 2 I want it to be about the grandkids who are now teens going on a sasquatch hunt where wjoever bags a bigfoot gets this prixe they both want and they are butting heads, but wen the sasquatch attacks, they gotta team up to survive, alsoits a 128 bit game like Zelda but with guns on dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox and you choose a brother and fight various animals while trying to sta outta the sight of the Sasquatch and pick it off in several ecounters with it activating its powers like invisubility or dimension shifting.

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Maris the Chojo Review

 Niote: i spell suoper ba but not as bad as dragnb ball super

Maris the Chojo

this is my review on Maris the Chojo from the sdistant future year (To Alfred Hitchcock) of 1986 (20 years before Transfroemrs Season 3)\

Its dirtected by Motosuke Takahashi who did eps of YuYu Hakusho (Which had a great Genesis Game bu Treasure), Mew Mew Power/Bleach

is written by Rumiko Takahashi wh did Ranma 1/2 and InuYasha

It stars Mami Koyama from Dragon Ball/Saint Seiya/Dragon Ball Z/Sailor Moon R/Shaman King/Ninja Scroll: The Series/Black Lagoon/Sailor Moon Crystal/gay a55 Dragon Ball Super/Dragon Ball: Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle/Dragon Ball: Mystical Adventure/Dead or Alive 1, Joji Yamani from Devilman/Mazinger Z/Cutie Honey/Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z/Dragon Ball GT/Digimon Adventure/One Piece/Inuyasha/Dragon Ball Kai/Dragon Ball Super/Mazinger Z vs. Devilman/the 80s Fist of the North Star movie, Sumi Shimamoto from Dragon Ball/Sailor Moon Sailor Stars/Silent Möbius/Ojamajo Doremi/Bleach/\Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters/Jungle de Ikou!/Hello Kitty/My Neighbor Totoro/Princess Mononoke, Mugen Senshi Valis/Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage, Toshio Furukawa frpm Hokuto no Ken/Sailor Moon SuperS/Cutie Honey Flash/One Piece(With many okama)/Kinnikuman Nisei aka Ultimate Muscle/Samurai Champloo/Eureka Seven/Bleach/most of the Dragon Ball shows and movies/the Dead or Alive games.

I never saw this b4 but its by Pierrot who did Lily C.A.T. and The Abashiri Family

Its called The Supergirl in some places but DC whined and they changed it, which is interesting as the Dub name is Japanese and the Japanese name is English

so after logos and an fbi thing we get text saying its not a true story(no, really?! what next? video of taylor swift b0njing a horse online is also fake?!) and we get opening credits to space cr-p and planets and metal things kinda like Violecne Jack with the comet comming

Then title with this space bikini chick with cut red hair and title

then this ship goes throughh spa ce and is chased by anorher and they go in this base with lasers blasting and 80s guitar shredding

the red haired chick is cut off by a gate closing so she blows it with a missile and jumps out, then takes off her metal sm thing and fight em in a bikini in 0 g an is stron enough to bust metal floors with her feet

afte easily beating out these star wars wannabees she faces a guy who sounds like dausike gouri who whizzed hmself and sez hes under arrest for narcotics, then beats him out

her pokemon murphy whos a fox alien that talks congradualtes her and she goes off saying she can have a vacation but accidentally breaks the floor and chair with her dbgt strength from not wraring restraints

the general calls and sez this is her third broken ship and she sez its his fault fr giving her an earth ship and shes 6x as strong as an earth ningen(so 6 people working togtehr can crumble this?! was it made in china?! those c=ck sucking maruta fail at making things!)

shes told shes reponsible for damages and they go to planet owwen withthis silver zentraedi ship and various aliens that have an interst in the man chick maris who wears a skimpy dress

she seduces 1 and grlls hm in an alley to fnd f hes a human taxi and ts revealed her plan et blew

then in a beach we see the legs of Lum frtom Urusei Yatsura and a shark like Jaws and a battleship underater as a guy scuba diving gets caught in a sea cucumbers a55 and it poops out his bones

maeis murphy and the lusty guy are walking along and she wanted to go on vaation and they pay 5000 credits to get smeone to handle it

after a shower scene whee we see her curvy bunsand a bit of b00b she uses a flyswatter on roaches andgot a call so she puts on a towel but her strength cracks the shower knob

the call is her mom who sez she needs money cuz her dads restraints broke at thre market but was drunk and didn't notice and busted a shelf

mom wishes they wernt from their home planet named after apagan god like our planets and maris has a flashback of shipsleaving with young her and seeing their homeworld blow to 80s guitar

maris sez she'd getta advance and to buy bettwr restrants and hangs up and later the hotel floods fron the brojen watet pipe

later she has a new ship and its a creap p o s andshe b--ches anout having to work on her vacation and her advance hardly covered her hotel bill with general having saved her from pro wrestling to wor space patroll

also theson of a b==ch i mean high official was kidnapped andthers a high randsom and the victim s a cool blonde guy whos dad is a billionare (Like Trump?) but looks like a Zillion Character

seeing she might win his love and get his money sheaccepts the mission and b---ches of her issues

then has a fantasy of him saying he dont like her and her saying she dont like him but its an illusion by her space fox mascot murphy like with Mia in Barabanba or Que in Dream Dimension Hunter Fandora

on the planet Moroi the bad guys see Maris is comming and the leader tels this long bluish haired bikini chick named sue that she should have told the fam not to call the cops

also the red hair being not long nd not read hair being long is like dirty pair or wanna bes

the masked guy whos totally not Char in Gundam wants to ice the hostage but su sez to ice da cops cuz they can get the money if hes alive and can buy a new fortress cuz this one is cr-ppy and from earth, and i'd assume being from china cuz they can't make sh-t w/o f--kin it up

sue was fighting for money for 5 years and left a cr-ppy home and wants to be free of her restraints, then goes out as prts of the base f--k apart

after a brie space battle sue contacts maris and they know each other from pro westling and not b0ning despite some questionable things in WWF like small leather oufits and greasy sweaty guys holding each other

sue mocks maris for working for the space cops and maris gets her irish up and busts the main screen with a wrench

So they have a space battle like Robotech and both think if they lose theyll be poors and maris gets behind her and fires lasers but the steering thing busts off asnd she gets shot down to the planet

as they go in reentry te gravity f'd mars and murphys facesand she tries to steer with the stump and the ship nails the planet and blows

they survive by being msain chaacters and space warriors who are strong and wander the planet including a desert like star wars before it was ruind all those times and an 80s anime longing song plays

if shes super strong, cant she leap across the area like the hulk or son wukong?

so after wandering the desert like te Israelites and her feet ae f'd she fids faucets p-ssing water but its an illusion by murphy, who se slugs off

an aircrafte sees her but busts on a rock wall and later she comes to a wild wild wesy town and they need money so she goes to a prowrestling thing but ts empty t general is there who brought her back to the base on planet ahoya

she gets a 30 year loan of 100 000 credits a month for all the cr-p she had and the general is a f==kin midget whos te size of a big action figure like Optimal Optimus Primal from Beast Wars

general sends her to rescue the son and her new ship has a huge cockpit and only 2 driving it

also her rents call for more money and she hangs up on em  and vows to buy em a planet where the wont need restraints and they fly to the planet with a big a55 rock castle and park outside it as maris smooches a picture of the prince

they go out and sue has a big gun and blows off one of the shipds legsand te ship tilts with the masked guy saying to surrender or theyd execute the guy

maris comes out abd sue uses a remote lock on her restraints and brings em in the rcastle where sue wants to execure em and the masked guy kicks the son and its a fake person like outta pillow stuff

sue reveas shes only strength level 3 and with the restraints on maris is human strehnttm then sue takes off her reatraints and shows her shouldees and pits anmd has em burned saying if murphy interferes hes toast

maris cant take off te restraints w/o the cobtro andhas a wwf match in a ring with maris and overpowers her in a way Go Nagfai might like and busts her around

maris fights back but gets beat around and its got great camera and animation and movement 80s anime oavs did well

sue elbows the floow and shatters it andmurphy uses his shadow clone thing to make many maruis butsue uses a control and zaps her

muprhy knows the control awau and reaches for it as sue does the thing you beck legs back to finidsh her until muprhy accidentally hits the romte dow a shaft and turns into octopi and and hemelelons to cach it and turn off the restraints

Maris is at full power despre being beat around and rips a pillar outta the wall and busts the macinery for a while as sue begs not to bust her base after she tried to ice her

the masked guy sez hes blow the base and they'd all go to h e doyble england with it and maris gives up

he takes off his mask and reveals he is the son and got tired of the high life like 1st worlders going to mexco or india for vacation as countless gaijin fight and die to get outta those stinkholes.

he decided to try a life of evil and smooches maris ands the planet blows, wait, its a flashback ofher childhood planet blowimng

did they b0ne and its like cutting to fireworks?

so her f'd life goes by in stills and she crys and blacks ou and sue sez her last hope to nt be poor was this and she ran away from her cr-pmbile homeworld for it

son goes back to sue and comforts her and sez he'd give her money and finds her pretty and wants ti ger married and maris goes mental and the base crumbles

the son and sue smoch and maris flies odf with murphy using shadow clones of the son  tryng to stp her sazzing out and general asks what happened as murphy trues to put her restraints on and sez if you break this one its ur 5th ship

then credits o clips of the anime we saw anda fun 80s anime song about money

wait, the clips and different and they changed things, for comedic edffect

then the english credits andanother song thats fun about the rumic world

the end

that was pretty good

fun silly entertaining, energetic and livley

its good action and comedy and has that 0s oav feel like violence jack oav 1 or call me tonight

i liked InuYssha bt not ranma 1/2 but this was a cool fun likable anime

and like The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch, the hero girl dont get the guy

The actuon is good and the animation is classic and the music is enjoyable

i had a good tie with it and the voces were fitting and cool

all in all a good 50 mins and worth a watch

For Maris the Chojo 2 I want Maris to be ivited to the wedding to rub it in her face but she meets a guy there who's into her, but he gets captured by a hermaphrodite alien race that wants to use him for breding and Maris has to save him by chasing them across the solar system and fighting various aliens. Also its an 8 bit game like Shatterhand but with you hard to kill like Wario Land 2 on Sega Mastet System and Game Gear, NES And GsmeBoy, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you go arond busting through various alien civilizations and fighting crazy bosses and trying to get back your man.

Monday, March 25, 2024

The Holdovers Review

 Note: I spell like I hold parts in my mouth

The Holdovers

This is my review on The Holdovers from the ditant fuure year of 2023 (the year of Robotech II The Sentinels)

Its directed by Alexander Payne who did Downsizing 

It stars Paul Giamatti from The Truman Show, Dr. Dolittle, Saving Private Ryan, Big Momma's House, Planet of the Apes, Cinderella Man, The Ides of March, Turbo, 12 Years a Slave, The Amazing Spider-Man 2/San Andreas/King of the Hill, Da'Vine Joy Randolph from The Mr. Peabody & Sherman Show/Only Murders in the Building, Carrie Preston from Mercury Rising/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Good Wife/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/The Good Fight, Gillian Vigman from Mad TV, Tate Donovan from disneys Hercules/The Pacifier/Rocketman/Godzilla: The Series/House of Mouse/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Cleaner/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Kelly AuCoin from Julie & Julia/The Sopranos/Law & Order/The Good Wife/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Blue Bloods/Turn: Washington's Spies/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and a number of people not on candy a55 back door, beta male, soy boy, aids ag, cripple nipple, sodom bottom, gender offender, hippie commie peta stoner venag seoviet ikipediea

I never saw it but people say its goof

Afte 70s logos even for miramax we get this this chior singing and the credits appearing on screen are done 70s style

paul giamatti is smoking a pipe and b--ching of what hes reading and this chick brings him Christmas Cookies

in the dorm these malcontent teensae bickering with 1 guy having james bond undies and 1 wanting chronic and p0rn0

this huge blackasaur chick is working in the kitchen and later in the dining area these boys in unifrme eat like harry potter and the teachers at the head table where 1 claimed his mom was sick andgot paul stck with an assignment

paul wants to do things traditional but his boss wantshim to go easy on this kid whos dad was a senator but was a dumba55 and fai;ed him, so now he has to look after teens

then we see teens talking of how 1 j=rked off in the salad and many of these teens got bad grades and he told 1 who whined that he's supposed to go to cornel, but he gives em a make up exam with new cr-p and their grade is the average of the 2 after the break

1 j=rkoff whines that they got 40 mins til bread and getting new material, so he sez they can f da exam, but they can blame the j=rkoff, but still got new material to read

in church the tees hate the j=rkoff and its revealed that blackasaurs son curtis got t in nam, ten after the church thingthe j=rkoff called angus ir anus by his droogs, got a call from his mom whos going on another honeymoon with her new butt buddy and gotta stay there for Xmas break

these teens gotta stay too and paul leads em and sez they gotta study and gotta sleep in the infermiry and get limited breaks and outside the teens meet including a mormon and a jock and a korea

paul talks with blackasaur the cook and have a drink then laterthe blnde guy is accused of stealing anus's photo and anus tells him his rents hate him and hes a sociopath and blonde snaps and atacks but joxk breaks em up

paul wats to know what happened and sez each min they dnt talk they get a detention and as he describes the library cleaning of cockroach butt holes, mormon kid snaps and out blonde

for dinner the food is a55 so he sez the carthiges had to eat sand and drink whizz and after blonde sez blackasaurs cooking s=ked and they can't fire her now and paul yells at him fr being entitled like queers do today

at night paul fnds blackasaur watching tv and oins her where she reveals her baby daddy wadnt married to her and got his head busted at the shipyard but her son wanted to go to college on a g i bill (gastro intestinal?) but got sent to h-ll in nam

she sed her son thought he was an a55 hole and heard everything from the kitchen even blondes comment of she should do her job right

in the day the guys go in the woods and blonde throws the mormons glove away cuz mormon outed him and he cant find it so he throws the other one in the river

also anus is gonna go to military school if he gets kicked outta another school. also jock i think sez hisdad i think has a private chopper and delivers presents

in the night he korea had a nightmare and either whizzed or cr-pped the ed like a frenchie who got b0ned by Johnny Depp and anus helps him

in the da jock dad sent a chopper and they can go skiing or w/e but now i think anus cant go cuz his rents cant be reched and the other youth go off, but blonde wrote f wad on it

at night the paul talks with the blackasaur over what the paul hopes and he wanted to go to europe and write a book

later paul is drunk ans snoring and anus javks his eys and has liquor and ice sceam and smokes

later anus tris to get a hotel room and paul gets p-ssed and anus rebells and runs as paul attemps to follow him aqnd sez hes getting detentions

hhe goes to the gu and does a flip on a thing and f;d his arm and blames paul and they go to the hospital and anus lies aboutbeing pauls son and his rents being divorced and he dont wanna bring em into court so hey skip insurance and pop his dislocated arm in

they go get drugs and anus sez his rents wont ask and paul owes him andthey g to a restaurant and the cookies lady comes by working there and knows em

paul wants a beer but cant now that she lnows em and chixk flirts with paul and ans riws to play pinball but the pnks friend is next and hes got a hook for an arm from nam and is dsgruntled and wants to f him up

paul buys em beers to eep em satisfied and ts been revealed that his boss was his student who rised above him

in a car the paul reveals he smell like fish cuz his body cant brwak down somerhing and the next day this big black janitor sez someone barfed in da gym

so blackasar wants to bring anus to a party but paul dont wanna him or anus yto go but he relents and sprays himself with glad air freshener

at the party aus looks at a snowglobe of Santa and The Baby Savior andhes introduced tothis teen chick whosjows him to the basement and shown the kids making arts and crafts

janiror brings blackasaur somepresent andthey get along and teen and anus do fngerpanting but nt with poop andhe looks down her shirt abd they smooch

paul sez he left home at 15 for scholorship and has no 1 anmd chic feels for him and hasa space style tree like for the allrged moon landing

blackasaur plays old jazz her dead black son liked and gets kinda b--chy

after paul is told to be nice to the kids, the chick makes out with a guy in front of him and blackasaur gets bummed over cr-p and they take her home but ans wantsto go back to make out

paul gets b--chy and anus reveals his dad is in h-ll and mom remaiired and blackasaur whines that paul told a boy whos alone on xmas hes nt waned

the next day the paul goes to get a tree but when he gets back he ant find anus and looks around

he finds him with his guts ot on te floor anda garden trown in his hand saing in blood

jk really he finds hin the church room playing musicon piany and he sjow him the xmas tree he got anda book on medicatons w/o mentioning The Lord as like most college porffesiors, hes a deniar andwill probanbly eat his gunafter 1 bad day

nus got money from mom and her butt buddy and they have a good xmas dinnr that lits the spirits of anus as he nevr had a real xmas

anus wanys to go to boston but pail sez no but is won over and sez its a field trip and they go and getblackasaur to her sitr who's pregnant and anus helps her up rhe stairs

in an ourside bookstore a fath00ker comes by and he turns her down but anus sez he can but paul sez he b0ned b4 and wil tell him when hes 18

in a museum they look at greek art including men b0ning and paul sez each genertion thinks it invented filth but to understand the presenthe needs to know the past

the seeds of the futurte lie berried in the past

so anus sez he otta be l=more fun as in class no one likes him and they go skating with a romantic song and it seems a bit boku no pico

they meet a guy paul knows and paul lies saying hes being well and is writing a book and anus is is nephew leonard like anatole leonard in robotech

after that anus rags on him over lying and he reveals he was kicked out of harvard for running over a guy who copied his work and accused him of dong it and his dad was a donor

so the past university professor took pty on him and gave him a teaching job and  paul tells anus not to tell anyone

this thing of guys in a winter thing is like the shining

so the next day he discovers the anus takes pills for depression and so does the paul

they go around and go bowling and paul has an f'd eye that looks off to the side and anus askswhich eye to look at

at a bar he talks with a Santa about how he otta dress like the real Saint Nick andits kinda big nbang theory and the duo watch little big man with paul saying its accurate to the times

the anus goes out and eventually paul catches him and its revealed he wanted to see his dad and paul sez he could have asked him

they drive off and to the nut house and he's spaced out and the anus sez things are good and claims to be doing well but dad thinks THEY are putting things in his food

anus goes over his dads devlution and how the meds made him worse and he got kinda violent and was locked up and divorced and send to school to avoid having to be reminde of him

anus sees little good and te paul comforts him to say we are not our dads and his dad tried beating it into him and they go to eat with blackasuar

the waitor sez theres a desert but they cant give e it cuz its got booze and hes underaged, so they get ice cream and cherried and burn it in a bo in the parking lot

they go back to wher eever they started and anus has a fireworks and they cleebrate new years then light off the fireworks in the kitcken

later school is back and jock wh's dad wantd him to cut his hair has it cut andits bsiness at normal and blonde got a sunburn from the light off the snow and paul calls hm icarus for going too close to the sun

cookie lady chick gets paul and brings him to the leader and his rents are confronting them for bringing anus to boston and they have proof form it from his dad having a snow globe anus brought

his om b--ched at him for giving her real husband hope  and he got upset hen the staff treied to take it from hm and he wanted to come home

mom thinks anus tricked him butpaul sez it was his idea and he dont give a sh-t as they werent there for him and sending him to miitary school is a bad thing for him cuz hes smart

aul gets fired and tells his booss hes p-n-s c-nc-r in human forme and tells blackasaur hich eye to look at

so blckaaur gives paul a book to weite his boom nd sez shes not going and saving up for her sisters baby whos middle name will be curtis if a boy

the student s think paul was caught eating human waste and anus hes not leaving but paul got canned and offers to skip PE and have a burger and beer like that X Men Game and the paul sez no and they encourage each other

paul drives off and swigs booze, spits it out and drives off ss the credits play

the end

that was quite good

rally captures the 70s style like films of the era

good music and feel and the story is goo how it graually blooms like a flower in Sailor Moon

its got good acting and story and some accusations of the story being ripped off of another screenplay

its a bit bummer but nowt depressing with guys going cr-ppy but it dont make u feel low

the characters have their own feel and my dad was laughing loud at this as it amused him somehow

i liked it and it was like a new movie from the era, like Tanglewood on Sega Genesis

paul seeing anus as his past self and aking the hit for the kid so his life would nt be f'd was honorable and showed he had soe hope for another left, like Fiore giving his Life Ki to save Serena in Sailor Moon

For The Holdovers 2 I want it to be of paul in greece and finding an anciebt relic that is too advanced for the time peroid and when he takres it to the museum, hes told to escape to a key pointto reveal it to a live news thing, turns out, its proof that amcient civilizations are more advanced than THEY ant us to know to promote evolution and hide evidence THEY dont want us to see. Turns out angus's dad was locked up as he had proof and they slippe crazy pills in his food to keep him from revealing it and locked up. But Angus got a psychic message from his dad who sensed it and they team up and get to the D Point hich is where the Creationist network planned a news thing to happen live and it turns out its a sports thing where when paul goes on the field, the announcer will reveal the reics truth and disprove evolution, but psul dont wanna as hes a creation deniar but when evolutionist agents try to ice him, he goes to spite them. Also its an 8 bit game like the Game Boy Bill And Ted on Nes, GameBoy, Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx where you play as Paul and/or Angus and collect items to open a door in puzzle platform levels and unlock the exits to the path to the final stadium.

Monday, March 18, 2024

The Kite Runner Review

 Note: I spell like I ran a kite up my a55

The Kite Runner

This is my review on The Kite Runner form the distnt furure yea to John A MacdDonald, of 2007(The year of Transformers Swaosn 4 in Amercia)

Its directed by  Marc Forster whio did Finding Neverland, which I crued at and was a meaningful film

It stars a buncha gaijin Ore Samma never saw i cr-o butwas based on a book by Khaled Hosseini who's kid got turned

it got some good views and reviews and the actors had mal;conents wanted yto ice the actors in it

i never saw tis b4 but its on chch and probably ciesnored things

so after credits and logos to exotic text and font and music, we geta white gaijin in the year 2000 and his womanwho had a book made and after seeing kids in the park flying kites

main guy gets a call from aguy and they talk in gaiinese and phone guy wants him to come home but he dont wanna but is tol its a bad time but can be good again

then in 1978 in pake stan are these gaijin kids flying kitses like the big bang theory dinks and battling em as tbey dont got dogs to cockfight or pokemon

the kite falls and the kid runs to it an through this town like in aladdin and finds a kid who sez the kite wil come here

they get along and are true friend and othe rkid would rather eat dirt than lie to him, like the harenchi gakuen guys

so then these deviolved looking dudes have some kinda business deals andlater main guy and his droog are heading home on a bridge with no rails so you can fall off easy

thers talk of the soviets attacking and dad knows his son wont get into fights as he lays down and takes it and lets the other c-ck suckers steal his toys but droog fights for him

main guys dad wants his son to have some g0n=ds but is told by his partner that the main guy isnt like him and wont be like him

later busness guy partner sez hes leanving for pake stan ansez thngs of droog getting his kite and dad hates him for icing his mom in chaildbierht

business partner reassures main guy that dad loves him and the later daylightmain guy and droog are playingcars and droog fires a slingshot at a german sheppard

they go to the movies as main uy had his allownece and watch the magnifficent seven again but its the cowboy ver not the real amurai one

on the way back theytalk of bronson sounding ira ni an cuz he was dubbed y that and this teen thtatens em for their race and them not beln-ngint in af gani stan

gaijin are gaijin, here we see em the same but there they hate each other, like koreas hating Japan or maruta hating Japan

so droog pulls a slingshot and teen backs off and they talk of a story main guy did where he wastes his woman cuz his tears become opears but droog sez "why not smell onion?"

so later dad tells son not to hang with these other gaijin and how all sin is from theft,lies steal truth and murder steals life

I should point out The Bbile calls The devil the father of lies, like with Eve and the Forbidden Fruit.

later main guy gets droog an american fightign kite and in the wastelanddroog has main guyread a story to him

later dad drives the boys to getta present in a less slummy area and he gets a kite

later it snows and dad sez at the kite mister torunament he iced 14 kites when he played and is this like beyblading?

so theygo to the snowy gaijin area and do super kite battler 64 with 1 guy steering the kite and 1 holding the thread

main guy wins anddroog runs to get the blue kite that was cut down in battle as i guess its like battle city and you take yout opponents thingif you win

main guy goes lokin for droog andhears the bigger boys wee after him and when he catches up to droog,the teen from b4 sees hes not got hsi slingshot andwants the kite in exchange for freedom

droog sez no and the kite is main guys and  teen sez main guy seez him as a pet and no one likes him and he's gonna be forgotten by him

then the teen and his homies beat the droog up and sodomize him

im not kidding, they b0ned him in th a55. it dont show any butt cheek or man parts butn it shows him unzipping and him on the ground

main guy runs and when the teen and his homies escape the droog who got bummed comes out and main guy claims to have only found him now as they walk and droog's butt leaks blood

i guess this is lgtbqia2+map, but candyt a55 back door soy boy beta male aids brigaides necro pedo sodom bottom open a55 wikipedia dont list it as such despite male on male b0ning

so now its night and main guy coms home anddad is proud and not like the month and later droog is sleeping often andthis moustache guyasks if hes ok and main guy covers it up saying hes sick

later el cid is playing anddad wants droog to come but son sez hes sick but dad sez hes never sick and should deal with the issue

later droog is trying to read and wants main guy to read him stuiff but main guy throws rfruit at him and tells him to ht back but he dont cuz hes kidn and is called a chciken sh-t

i know hes trying to toughen him up butthis might f uhim up worse than the teen b0ning his a55 as he lieks main guy and not the teen who b0ned him

kater main guy asks dad if he wants new servants butdad tells him off for beign a c-clk sucker and might beat him if he keeps it up for bringign shame to him

later is a b day party andmoustache guy gives gievs him a new book and teen who b0ned his friend is there and he has to shake his hand he probably had in someones a55

at night main guyis alone and business partner cspends time with him and giebs him a book to write his ieas in as fireworks happen

at the party, droog has to serve drinks to the teen who b0ned his a55 and i think droogs fam is a servant fam to main guys, possible indentured

later main guy is looking at his watch then asks dad where it is and later its found in droogs room and he takes the blame for it

dad forgievs him but mustahce guy sez he cant work here anymore and dad begs him to stay but he goes

the main guys is a little c=ck sucker, he should have been bummed!

also this seems a lot liek slumdog millionaire, but more sodomy

then its december 1979 and the soviets attack anmain guys dad has to skip town cuz he said he dont like commies

huh, the dad is played by Homayoun Ershadi from zero dark thrityy

so they are leaving in a truckan a societ wants to b0nethis guys woman as soviets did that to the Germans in teh war but dad stands up for her even if he'd be iced

the hgher rank soviet comes by and makes him stand down b4 he befouls em both and the truck leaves and th wifes husban thanks him

at nightthey sto and change trucks as they dont got enuff money to get em across the boarder in that truck and dad takes some dirt from the ground i his locket as a last keepsake of his omeland takes over by the ussr

see also poland and east ermany

so they are in a tanker truck or w/e andtravel the wasteland like wityh mexico guys trying to escape that cesspolole while canaians comes to vacation there

later its the 1st world and dad is working in a gas station as despite beign hot sh-t in the third world, he's a dsmall fry in the 1st

he gets a suit and sees his son gaduate and later they go out for a drink

oh its 1988 and reagan is doing his part to stop the ussr and son sez he dont wanna be a dr but a writerand dad is bummed

huh the guy playing the adult main guy was Khalid Abdalla and did Assassin's Creed

later hemeets a general from the old country and wants main guy to writye his peoples stories instead of fiction

so he writes a sorry and has money and dad later wants him not to embarrass himself  and he sez he pays his respects to this chick who i think he marries

they get along and like storeuis and he read one shes reading and he goes back to writing and returns but general sez everyone is a writer here and throws his sotry to the side

so dad has a coughing fit and when he finds out the dr's family originally came from russia he walks out, even though the russuians suffered most from the russians and many fled the ussr to have a good lie in the 1st world

so son writes a story called the sultans of kabul and dad dont like the ending andiis tired of being on life supprot machiena and wants to go home

generaland his fam come by and sez if he needs anything he can get itbut both turn down a free wish of the dragon balls

main guy goes out and chick follows and sez his story made her cry

later dads at home andson has him ask the general for the generals daughyers hand in marriage

she accepts but later she tells him she ran off with an aff gan man and dad made her come home and she b-=ched out for it and they moved here so they'd not have issues

so he dont care she b0ned b4 and might have aids and marries her anyway and has a gaijin wedding

dad bites it and its 2000 before oh bba mma attacked the tQvverz and prenagram and  i think its business partner whos biting it andmain guy goes to pake stan 

he finds the gov banned kite flying like schools banning yugioh csrds and hes played by Shaun Toub who was in the 2006 The Nativity Story and played pinter in Seinfeld, Malcolm in the MiddleThe Sopranos

he sez how he deticated his book to partner who listened to his stories

artner sez after cr-ppy rrvants he brought drogs back with his wife and son but the tow e ban came by when he said hes looking after the housewhule partner was out but they didnt buy it and iced him and his woman who attackede, while his kid went to an orphanarium

also roog taught himself ro read and write and sent a letter to partner and partner reveals that droog was his half brother as the moustache guy has bad parts and his wpman left him and had a few daughters with another man

he betrayed his owen brother and cost his dad his illegitmate son

this main guy is a real c=ck sucker. i hope he gets sodomized for it!

also if this were an anime, the droog would be the main guy and the main guy his rival

so main guy goes to get his nephew and reas a nie letter from him saying he misses his storys and hopes to have main guy meet his son but things s=ck in tht cesspool and he taought him to rwad/write and inclued a photo of him and his son

main guy calls his wife and tells the story and goes off in a mad max wasteland by jeepwith a fake beardand guide and passes a checpoint with hairy smelly gaijin all over ready to b0ne him dead and eat him after

he tells guide of the boy and how the dad was his bro andgoing through his old haunt finds its goe hokuto no ken and the soviets cut the trees away

it stinks of diesel as they use generators andtheres cr-ppy power grids with trucks of gunmen driving by that ice u for looking at em cockeyed

they go to a slum and ask for the boy and the owner tries to send em off but its explained hes the ubcle andowner tels  em a guy comes by from the tow e ban and buys a kid, usually a girl, but sometimes he gays out, and he has to do it to ave the other kids or they take 10

smetimes the ids come back and he tells em where the guy is as he makes speeces at halftime

they go to this f'd out residence and in this socer staduim is guys playing amd some ae White

this guy comec in a trck like south in hokuto no ken or the slum king m violence jack oav 1 and has2 people  ice for his gods laws for adultery, which if you rwad The Bible, The SDavior says Zlet He who is w/o sin cast the 1st stone, but these guys follow another god and end em with stones

guide who looks like a les africnized forrest whitaker, arranges a meeting andin a place with reesan grassmain guy is drove by guide who lets him go in

so hes let in this locke gate andfrisked andis told to sit at gunpoint

the guards go and the sputher slum kingwait, its not is another guy who wants him to take off is beard and sez the souther guy is busy

he has main guy take off his beard and turban a dsz hes from america and calls him a traitor to his god as hes in America

s-so da boy comes in and dances fr em and i think this guy is b0ning him and recognizes main guy and holy cr-p its the teen who b0ned his droog

he grew up and eot on gaying yunger guys ad and b0-ched at him for leaving the lad as the soviets sh-t up the plaxe, then sez "i didnt say u can have him for free" and beats the cr-p outra main guy

droog jr uses a slingshot to nail his b0ner in te face and escapes with is uncle and if only he told the authorites that the teen b0ed his frend they could have executed him anddroog jr would be a butt virgin

so they get to the jeep and escape as gaijin open fire on em like contra ad find thatparner bit it while they were out

te next day main  guy wakes up all beat to h=-=ll and jr is gine and e goes loking for him in this aladdin ike place but slummed out

he mees him in their gods temple and he prays to his god and NOT the God of AbrahamIsaac/Jacob

wait i think hes not therw and he finds jr on stars where hes told jr used be b0ned b4 am prayers but man guy sez he wont bum i again

jr is forgetting his fams faces and is glad they casnt see him after his b0ning and dad comforts him and they go to America and main guys wifewelcomes her nephew in like Kenshiro and Ryu being Raoh Jr

later eneral who looks like Jack Pershing, is worried of wgat people will think but main guy stands up for him and sez nt to call him a servant but use his name and hes his nephew

general slices him open and pulls out his intestines then begis forcefeeding them to mai uy and saying "ur guts are by c=ck!!"

jk really main guy takes his nephew kite flying and sz his dad could sense where kites would land

wich is kinda f;d as his dad got bumed for the kiteso mzin  guy ke fghts a guy and theres sot moving music playing and is like forrest gump with the feather

main guy wins anfruns to catch it and nephew jr followsand looks over as credits play and the camera pans up and goes black

the end

that was pretty good

its dark but not depressing and sre but not graphic

it tells a heartfelt story and even makes the sodomy work fr the story

it shows the spider man thing where he could have stopped the guy when he had the chance but didnt and a rekatve(nephew/uncle) got f;d by him

its got nice colors and music and the acting is quite good

its long but dont feel it and holds attention withit flowing and not dragging

its got some heart and tells a weird and f'd up story but seems to fit

it shows how the soviets and after effects damaged a nation and being el polen zakken i have sme knowing of it a tad

its got friendship breaking but his roog never gave up on him even after his betrayal

and his attempt to attone for his c=cksuckerish behabvior by saving his droogs son from a sodomite

its a good film ut the people of the land its srt in hated it and wanted to ice the actor who played the droog i think cuz he made the soomizers look bad and the sodomized looom wimpy

its not hisrace, its his chatacter, like a movie of a grman into SM, not all germans are, but this one is, like Kekko Kamen OAV 1

He comes full circle from dad telling him off for being aganst servants to standing up ffor his part servant nephew

its a pretty well done film and is like sailor moon, dark themeed, bright colored and with sodomites

For The Kite Runner 2 I want the son to be a teen and the guy who b0ned him comes back and tracked him down to hsi city with his connections in the gov and networks, so he's gotta get to the cops and gets weapons and armor and get a crew tohtehr before the b0ning guy comes there, also main guy has to do missions to help peopel and get it all done before the sodomizer arrives. its also a 128 but game on dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox lie Shenmue where you gotta do cr-p and in the end its a big battole with a huge melee btween the sodomizers force and main guys.